Diagnosing And Ending An Addictive Relationship.

Love can cause a drug-like high, producing fantasies, causing sleeplessness and causing you to ignore other things in your life for this single element. An addictive relationship is characterized by the need to continue to engage with the person despite obvious negative consequences. You should diagnose your relationships with other people and then go through psychological and physical steps to remove yourself from the patterns of an obsessive attachment.

Part 1 of 3: Diagnosing an Addictive Relationship

1. 
   Make a list. Write a column for positive things you get out of the relationship, and write another column to list the negative things that you get from the relationship. Dig deep into your life to establish whether connections are socially, mentally, emotionally, professionally healthy.
   • Among the positive things that may be included in this list is the rush that you feel when the person you love pays attention to you or provides you with something. It is the feeling of addiction that you will need to accept and tackle.
2. 
   Review past relationships. Many people who become addicted to people have suffered from inadequate family relationships. Many times these family members were not trustworthy or did not provide basic food, shelter or emotional support. ^[1]
   • If the person to whom you are addicted reminds you of a past family member or relationship, you may be looking to complete a previous failed relationship through this current relationship. You will need to separate the feelings from the two different relationships to move on.
3. 
   
   
   Keep a relationship log. Write regularly about how the relationship makes you feel and what behaviors, hopes and fantasies you harbor. Writing about a relationship daily can help you avoid glossing over the bad moments to protect your relationship.
4. 
   
   Do a relationship review. Write down the person’s physical and personal characteristics. Then, write down who is the dominant person in the relationship and look for evidence of either person trying to control the other person. Explain the tone of the relationship and the five most common emotions you experience when you are with the person.
   • If many of these characteristics are negative, you can start to view the reasons you are facing addiction rather than a healthy relationship.
5. 
   
   
   Accept that a relationship isn’t healthy if you see evidence of obsessive, controlling, abusive manipulation. You must be willing to go through emotional pain in order to separate.