Diagnosing And Ending An Addictive Relationship. (Concluding part)
Part 3 of 3: Embracing Independence
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Decide upon how you will handle the person if they get in touch in the future. You should limit contact if the person reduces your self-esteem and makes you feel small or unloved.
- For example, if the person wants to talk on the phone, suggest a
date and time, and then go to a supportive friends’ house to take the
call.
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Expect withdrawal symptoms.
In place of euphoria, excitement and infatuation, you may experience
fear, self-doubt, loneliness and panic. These are normal parts of
breaking a bond that gave you some positive feelings. [5]
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Don’t substitute drama for closeness.
As a relationship breaks down, you may want to engage in melodrama,
just to be attached to the person who used to give you a positive rush.
Remove yourself from drama to make the break faster and with less pain
over time. [6]
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Write down your obsessive thoughts about the person. Keep a journal with you, so that you can adequately describe fantasies, compulsive feelings and the pain you feel.
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Face feelings of loneliness or depression.
If you feel chronically depressed, get a counselor or talk to your
friends. Feelings of worthlessness cannot be stamped out by
relationships; they are just delayed until later.
- Deal with your own self-esteem issues now, before you start dating again.
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Join a support group based on sex or love addiction. You may be able to see how others cope with the endorphins and obsessive behavior associated with love.
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Keep hoping. A study by Northwestern University showed that people overestimate how bad they will feel after a break up.[7] The separation you dread may be easier to get over than you think.
Decide upon how you will handle the person if they get in touch in the future. You should limit contact if the person reduces your self-esteem and makes you feel small or unloved.
Expect withdrawal symptoms. In place of euphoria, excitement and infatuation, you may experience fear, self-doubt, loneliness and panic. These are normal parts of breaking a bond that gave you some positive feelings. [5]
Don’t substitute drama for closeness. As a relationship breaks down, you may want to engage in melodrama, just to be attached to the person who used to give you a positive rush. Remove yourself from drama to make the break faster and with less pain over time. [6]
Write down your obsessive thoughts about the person. Keep a journal with you, so that you can adequately describe fantasies, compulsive feelings and the pain you feel.
Face feelings of loneliness or depression. If you feel chronically depressed, get a counselor or talk to your friends. Feelings of worthlessness cannot be stamped out by relationships; they are just delayed until later.
Join a support group based on sex or love addiction. You may be able to see how others cope with the endorphins and obsessive behavior associated with love.
Keep hoping. A study by Northwestern University showed that people overestimate how bad they will feel after a break up.[7] The separation you dread may be easier to get over than you think.
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